What’s holding you, what imprison you, what keeps you from doing something you really love.
Like spending quality time with your family.
Well, you can always spend time with your family but the question is, is it quality? are your attention is full without worry?
The day I became (truly) free.
Allow me to share a little bit of my past.
I remember this so clearly. I was probably about 16 years old. Fresh from high school. My mom and dad had a huge fight, usually about money.
During those days I still remember how my parents always argue over something, still vivid until now, and I promise myself, that it will never happen to me and to my children pag nag-asawa na ako.
As the youngest of all my siblings and still unmindful over what is really happening at home.
My mother always kicked my father out of the house every time resources are not enough.
I never thought that it was a serious matter, still playing and so immature.
There was a time in a year that we almost never see our father and every time he comes home the house is full of arguments and stress.
My mother always told us, together with my siblings to come and live with my father but we never did, maybe out of love to my mother.
We grew up in that kind of environment, that every day, every time my parents meet there will always be fighting, shouting and cursing.
I am not proud of that kind of life we have before, pero hindi ko naman kinakahiya. Because I will never be here if it weren't for them. And I will never have this kind of life if it was easy after all.
Though my father was the kind one who never fought back, but we never blame my mother.
Having four small mouths to feed, I know now how stressful and scary having someone who always depends on you.
So imagine a child who grew up in that kind of environment, it is true that hurt people hurt other people.
My relationship with others was not as smooth as what I dream of. I never allow people to see me through my heart, I always doubt and always curse.
I push everyone coming into my life, scared to trust people, scared to have serious relationship thinking that what happened to my parents might happen to me.
Then my parents left me, they migrated to another country through the help of my sister. By that time I was already working and my parents got mature.
They still argue but not as often as before. Maybe because the responsibility and obligations became seldom and light.
But that’s where my own journey begins. That every time I had a serious relationship I always became quarrelsome, always hard headed, always have reason over something.
For many years, failed relationship after every failed relationship. Mapapagod ka rin pala. Especially if people are just taking advantage of you.
Until one midnight tired of all the things that happen to me so I told myself enough, I think this is where I really belong, to live alone all my life.
But God sometimes will give you something unexpected, surprises that will change your life forever.
My husband came at a very unexpected time. I don’t want to have a serious relationship anymore at that time, but this is true (single ladies listen) when a person wants to be in your life, no matter what, no one can stop him. Never beg someone to stay into your life because if they are meant to be, they will stay no matter what.
We got married and had children. I thought everything run smoothly, since we are both matured and settled, both have a permanent job, but in this world, nothing is permanent remember that.
So one day God tested my loyalty to him. The same problem that my parents had, I am experiencing it.
Children came one by one, responsibility got bigger and bolder. Expenses became uncontrollable.
True enough it happens. It's a cycle, so we have to cut it and only us can do it. My greatest fear, scarcity of resources.
Take note of this, that everything happened to us is an accumulative decision we made overnight, no one to blame but us.
“THE SECRET TO LIVING IS GIVING.”
So for the next years, my life was a never-ending problem, scarcity is always present.
I was always broke, angry, and blaming everyone I could.
But in the midst of all the anger, and all the emotions — I am always been optimistic and positive.
And the only values I’ve learned from my mother that I never thought had a great impact on me was her faith.
Faith was one of the strongest and greatest assets my mother ever had. Growing up, I’ve seen her praying the rosary every night. We always visit the blessed sacrament every time.
We attended the mass almost everyday especially when she has all the time since her children had their own family already.
And since I am the youngest when my siblings had their own family no one left but me, so imagine what kind of bonding I had with my mother which I thought it will be lifelong.
My faith is what brought me here, when life is hard I always remember this words which my mother always told me.
God will provide.
May Awa ang Dyos.
The only problem with my mother and maybe the rest of us, is how we interpret words and phrases wrongly sometimes.
God will provide yes, but what are we going to do when He provided us something?
When He entrusted us with things, are we just going to waste it? Why we keep on coming back where we used to be? In a world of scarcity.
Those words are just words, if you are not practicing them they are useless.
So I figure it out after reading countless books and hearing a lot of audiobook about taking charge of our lives. We really harvest what we planted.
So kung punong puno kang ng utang now, hindi naman biglang nangyari nalang, you made it overtime. But never loose hope. Because God gave us the all the things we need. We just have to learn how to ask.
From the moment I decided to take charge of my life, I started to let go of my anger and focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t want.
And that is where it started to shift my life forever, no turning back. The blessing came one after another.
Though along the way there were still torn, rough road and high and low. But I started to focus on what's good instead of focusing on what wrong will going to happen.
I started to realize that in order to receive I really need to give something first and in return, God will give me more than the things I ask for.
Though I never expecting something in return but that is proven, it's a reality of life.
That life is really like a ball that keeps bouncing back and forth.
That life is just a mirror, it's a mere reflection of ourselves.
That there is an assurance that, what we do right now will surely come back to us, maybe not now but in the future.
From the moment I've learned that, I started giving in terms of financial a small amount.
Sabi nga if you want to know if your donation is good enough give until it hurts you.
And I give a little more, until one day, giving does not really hurt our budget. That’s where we started to gain wisdom. In all aspect of our lives.
By the way, just a piece of advise. Do not give just for the sake of giving, do not give because you thought that giving is one way of pleasing God.
Minsan kase imbes na nakakatulong tayo, nakakasama pa, so pray hard when you plan to give or help. Make sure that God is really using you to help someone, ask for wisdom. Pray without ceasing.
That our motivation is not only to gain more money but to gain more wisdom.
Just like King Solomon. When God asks him what does He want He didn't asks for health and wealth but rather he ask for a discerning heart.
1 Kings 3:9
"So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong.
And from that moment may it be financially, family and even small matters. I always ask for wisdom and a discerning heart and God never fails me.
And I realize again, right there and then that the meaning of this is, whatever I give, it will always come back to me, always.
Not only in donating money, but in everything.
Give love and the world will love you.
Give kindness and the people that surround you will be kind to you.
You want honesty, be honest with yourself and to the people that surround you.
Do not fool yourself or else the people you surround yourself with will be a reflection of who you are.
Now we don’t have to worry about scarcity again. And I don't have to worry about the people who are taking advantage.
Because the moment I believe that what I give is what I received, the right people started coming into my life.
We just have to give. It’s so simple. And the rewards will be greater than we can ever imagine.
Now thinking, are those experience in my life are just a mere coincidence or what?
Though I decided to believe that those trials are just a blessing in disguise.
And I can tell you honestly, I’ve had rough and tough days in my life — financially, physically, emotionally — like we all have, but from the moment I realize everything, I’ve never gone back to that place of scarcity again and I know I never will anymore.
I know most of us, we never see the good in people. What they do behind our back.
But now I believe, those people who receive unlimited blessing are doing the same thing.
They’ve learned The secret to living is giving.
Money, by itself, is so empty. Most people don’t find that out until it’s too late.
Know that money has no power except the power of your giving.
Don’t wait until you have it. Nobody starts beyond scarcity.
Make the decision today to get beyond scarcity. Decide now and commit to something.
Start somewhere. Give wholeheartedly, especially when you think you don’t have it, and I promise you that you will never have scarcity in your life — ever again.
Yes, money doesn’t give you happiness, but it gives us options. It gives us the freedom to choose. To spend quality time with our loved ones.
Money is not the most important thing is this world, but it affects the most important thing is our lives like family.
Because I believe that family isn't the most important thing. It's everything.
Now ask yourself this questions. What to do? when to get? and where to get? resources when something unavoidable circumstances happens to me and my loved ones.
Do I really consider myself totally free? especially free from worry.
My advice, Ask for wisdom it never fails.